Wednesday, March 2, 2011

New in the world of Blog

I've struggled with ED, since I was 13 years old.
I have always had a bad 'relationship' with food, which brought along the poor self body image, binging, purging, restricting and obsessive calorie counting.
I can't ever remember when I felt 'Okay' eating.  It has always been this huge mind trip to me. Not that I have had the best support group in the world, I kept my ED secret for years before asking for help.  Still with having some support, I was tossed in to treatment where my parents still wouldn't have to deal with the issue right in front of their faces.
I became a teen mom at 17, gaining ungodly lbs. and reaching the highest weight I had ever been. A couple years later, my marriage to the father of my son fell apart. I attribute a HUGE part of my failing marriage to my weight.  Who would want to be with someone that big!?
As I watched things fall apart in my life, I had had enough of caring this extra baggage around and being larger than life.
Mia was my best friend in middle school. I saw results, and quickly.  She soon after, came back in to my life, and I didn't want her to leave.
I began calorie counting, restricting, not taking in anymore than 400Calories a day. I lost weight, and felt good.
Along with losing the weight I needed to, it was happening fast.

Still restricting.  Every time I eat anything, I feel lazy and depressed, like I have zero motivation. But after I have gone a few days, to a week without eating, I feel energized, able and willing to do normal tasks, leave my house. etc.


Morgan Silent.

1 comment:

  1. i'm afraid also ,the calories,the weight, its terrifying stay strong xoxo-echo

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