Since my car accident, I haven't been able to go out and do things. Stuck at home, I feel like a lump. I can't go to work, and at work, I dance. Soo annoyed!! :[
I've gotten my calories down to 650 a day, and feel comfortable that it will be manageable (yet again) and I wont freak out after 7 to 10 days, and binge on everything in our entire house. Bleh.
Also, have been trying to find more 'Before & After' - photos. inspiration...
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Day 2 of a fast?
I think I've gotten to a point where I enjoy stomach pains. Not that empty nausea feeling, but the actual stomach pain, I've come to recognize as a good thing.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
New in the world of Blog
I've struggled with ED, since I was 13 years old.
I have always had a bad 'relationship' with food, which brought along the poor self body image, binging, purging, restricting and obsessive calorie counting.
I can't ever remember when I felt 'Okay' eating. It has always been this huge mind trip to me. Not that I have had the best support group in the world, I kept my ED secret for years before asking for help. Still with having some support, I was tossed in to treatment where my parents still wouldn't have to deal with the issue right in front of their faces.
I became a teen mom at 17, gaining ungodly lbs. and reaching the highest weight I had ever been. A couple years later, my marriage to the father of my son fell apart. I attribute a HUGE part of my failing marriage to my weight. Who would want to be with someone that big!?
As I watched things fall apart in my life, I had had enough of caring this extra baggage around and being larger than life.
Mia was my best friend in middle school. I saw results, and quickly. She soon after, came back in to my life, and I didn't want her to leave.
I began calorie counting, restricting, not taking in anymore than 400Calories a day. I lost weight, and felt good.
Along with losing the weight I needed to, it was happening fast.
Still restricting. Every time I eat anything, I feel lazy and depressed, like I have zero motivation. But after I have gone a few days, to a week without eating, I feel energized, able and willing to do normal tasks, leave my house. etc.
Morgan Silent.
I have always had a bad 'relationship' with food, which brought along the poor self body image, binging, purging, restricting and obsessive calorie counting.
I can't ever remember when I felt 'Okay' eating. It has always been this huge mind trip to me. Not that I have had the best support group in the world, I kept my ED secret for years before asking for help. Still with having some support, I was tossed in to treatment where my parents still wouldn't have to deal with the issue right in front of their faces.
I became a teen mom at 17, gaining ungodly lbs. and reaching the highest weight I had ever been. A couple years later, my marriage to the father of my son fell apart. I attribute a HUGE part of my failing marriage to my weight. Who would want to be with someone that big!?
As I watched things fall apart in my life, I had had enough of caring this extra baggage around and being larger than life.
Mia was my best friend in middle school. I saw results, and quickly. She soon after, came back in to my life, and I didn't want her to leave.
I began calorie counting, restricting, not taking in anymore than 400Calories a day. I lost weight, and felt good.
Along with losing the weight I needed to, it was happening fast.
Still restricting. Every time I eat anything, I feel lazy and depressed, like I have zero motivation. But after I have gone a few days, to a week without eating, I feel energized, able and willing to do normal tasks, leave my house. etc.
Morgan Silent.
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