Head Throbbing

So the purging has started again.  I find that after I eat, My body aches and head starts pounding and throbbing 'til I make myself purge.  It feels like my body is being poisoned.

Has anyone else experienced this?

durp durp

My tummy hurts.  Bleh!

Does anyone know a good blog or site for Before & After thinsperation.  I may post mine..  Thinking about it.
Super indecisive today. This week.  Meh

Diversion

Woo.  -_-  I think I've replaced 'drug' addiction with mass restricting again.

I'm actually starting to be afraid to drink water again.  This happened two years ago.  I know fluids are the best thing for me.  I'm torn between my rational mind, and my wants.

So diversion starts soon. What happens when that's over!?  Will I lose all control again, start smoking weed again, and gain, gain, gain!??  This does not seem like an option to me at all.

STAY STRONG!!!!

Work please

So in two days (Tuesday), I find out if I get my job back.
Crossing my fingers. I'm going stir crazy not being able to go anywhere or do anything.  SO annoying.

I'm thinking that getting my job back, is going to have to do with if I'm losing weight or not.. and if I keep losing weight.
Yet again, crossing my fingers.

to date, I've lost another 10Lbs but some how I feel larger than life, and can see every single dimple, line, roll, etc.  BLEH!!!

I just need to go back to work.  Healed or not.  -_-

fml.

Being stressed makes me eat WAYYY more.  ugh  :[

I could cry right now.

Marijuanville

So I've quit smoking marijuana, and I really didn't think that it made much of a difference with my eating habits (Maybe because I have been smoking so long) but now since I have quit, I lost 10lbs in 4 days :D

My stomach pains are starting to go away, and I 100% am blaming the weed for stomach pains lol.

Going to start trying to go to the gym again :/  I just feel so self conscious, like everyone is staring at me when I go.

RANT!!!

BBQ anyone?

Yesterday, by the end of the day, I had this whole meal plan for the day and it had been working out great... until (DOT DOT DOT), my boyfriend and I got invited to a dinner. blahhh.
I chose to eat a salad.. but soon there after, I started getting offered other foods.  BBQ.  lame. I feel like the only way I'm going to stick to anything is if I stay in my house where there is no other outside factors.

:[  boo!

So I guess now, I'm starting my diet over.. from the very beginning.

.: If at first you don't succeed, try again.  You're only a failure if you give up.  :.